What makes a good mother?

On one of my lists, we've been talking about whether or not we were/are good mothers. We've discovered that none of us lived up to our own expectations.

I always thought, growing up, that I’d be a great mother. I was wrong. I didn’t spend my days down on the floor playing CandyLand or Barbie with my daughters, or Battleship with my sons.

Well, okay, I did once in a while, but in my mind a great mother would do this all day, every day. And somehow, along the way, she would keep the house spotless, the laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away. Dinner would be on the table at six on the dot, perfectly cooked, perfectly balanced nutritionally. The kids would get baths every night and would go straight to bed with no fuss after the perfect mother read them two bedtime stories. And she would never, ever forget to make them brush their teeth.

That my children’s teeth have fillings is a silent testimony to the fact that I wasn’t a great mother. Somehow, in spite of my less-than-perfect mothering, the kids turned out all right. Except for the baby, of course, who is totally gorgeous, exceptionally smart, independent, caring---and thinks it will take the rest of her life in therapy to undo the damage I did. I look at her and think, if I’d had half the strength of character she has at that age, there’s no telling what I might have accomplished.

My kids deserved better. But then I stop and think. Did it ever occur to them that maybe mom yelled because she was stressed because they all had things they needed me to do, and that there were three other children and a husband who had their own demands and expectations, and I was trying my damnedest to hold it all together, and there were times when I felt like I was being pulled apart, like I was going to split into a half-dozen pieces?

And on top of my children’s problems I kept trying to solve, I had my own problems. I’d had a bout with cancer that made me worry and fret until I descended into depression no one else recognized. Then my father came down with lung cancer and the depression deepened. He passed away, and I felt like I'd lost my anchor. It was at the worst possible time for my youngest kids. They needed their mother, and she didn't have enough emotional fortitude to pull herself out of the mire to meet their emotional needs. All I wanted was for the world to go away and leave me alone.

So, does all that make me a bad mother? I never sold my kids into prostitution like some mothers have. I didn't scald them in the bath, beat them senseless, starve them in a closet. I did try to make sure they went to good schools, tried my best to keep them safe, instilled in them a love of reading, tried to control their television exposure as much as I could. I took them to church (at least until the depression got too bad), even started my own Christian school to give them the best start in life that I could. When they were little I worked at jobs where they could be with me instead of establishing myself in a career that would have kept my husband and I out of the mess we're in now. I loved them more than life itself and at any point would have given up my life for theirs if necessary.

I've prayed for each of them since before they were born. No, they haven't always made the right choices, but they've always known that the choice they were about to make might not be the best one. And when they made the wrong choice, they fixed it. They backed up and started over, sometimes at great personal and emotional cost.

Yes, I have a lot of regrets. I regret not spending enough one on one time with them when I had the chance. I regret not listening when they needed me to listen, not give advice. I regret missed opportunities. But I don't regret the people they have come to be. They're wonderful, bright, witty, mature men and women. None have ever been in jail, they aren't thieves or drug addicts, they respect others, they study hard and do well in school.

So was I great mother? Maybe not, but that's what we decided on the lists. We might not have been the best mothers, but we did our best with what we had to work with, and the kids turned out all right.

Rules are Made to be Broken

How many times has a critique partner told you, "You can't do that?" Or "You need to get rid of every word ending in 'ing'." Or you've heard on a writer's loop somewhere that historicals are dead, cowboys are passe, you can't have a heroine who commits a crime, intentional or not (I actually had an editor tell me that once.) Then you pick up a new novel and on the freshly printed page is--horrors!--a heroine on her way to jail for committing a crime. (Unintentionally of course, and she's exonerated in the end, as mine is).

I've been doing a lot of reading lately. You know what I've found? I don't notice the word was. This is a biggie, because I get dinged for it a lot. Yes, I try to find other ways to say things, but sometimes was is the only word that works. (And no, I'm not referring to the most recent critique where a very kind author pointed out the tremendous overuse of was in an old ms. I have learned a few things. :) I also don't notice the use of adverbs, unless the story itself doesn't hold my attention. What I do notice is rambling thoughts, stilted dialogue, stupid heroines or unbelieveable plots.

Tell a good story, and I'll forgive you anything. So please, quit editing the life out of your book and just write it so I can read it.

Rain? Oh please!!

It's cloudy, I hear thunder in the distance, and it smells like rain. We're in the worst drought in recent memory, so please help us pray for rain. Not just an inch, though we'd take it. We need a good 6 inch rain to fill the ponds and bring the grass back to life. The cows and I would really appreciate it.

In other news--for a change, there isn't much. Which means I have no current crisis going on in my life, so I'm writing for all I'm worth. Youngest daughter is safely back at college, second youngest son goes back to college on Thursday, and other than my romance chapter meeting on Saturday, I have nothing crowding my schedule besides the ongoing job hunt. This is the first time in months and months that I've had any free time. I have 4 writing projects going at once. If I get stuck on one, I switch to another while ideas percolate on the first. If I get bored, I switch to the third. But I do have goals in mind. I want to finish two of these in time for the Golden Heart. That's only a few weeks away (Yikes!) The other two I want to have finished by the end of the year.

One of these projects is just in beginning pages form right now. It's different from anything I've tried before, so I have no idea how it will go. I'm just trying to stretch myself by writing outside my comfort zone. I figured I'd better do it now while I have the freedom to pick and choose my projects. (IE, while I'm still unpublished.)

The "New" Car

I was cruising Craigslist the other day, looking for a car for my youngest son, hoping to find someone who wanted to trade a decent car for his truck. Found a guy with a 1990 Subaru Legacy that had a blown head gasket who only wanted $600 for it, or was willing to trade for something else. We had a gas scooter that we'd never been able to sell at the flea market and he agreed to the trade. DH has been working on the car and it runs great, has a brand new MP3/CD player and speakers, new tires, new paint. I think we got a pretty good deal.

Trouble is, dh wants to keep it instead of letting our son have it. So now I have to start looking for another car.

I Believe in Miracles part 2

I might believe in miracles, but I still don't trust Blogger not to eat my post so I broke that first lost message into two parts. I've forgotten what I wrote after GeeBee's good news, except the part about writers being solitary beings, by necessity, but coming together through the internet to form communities like the Bat Cave and the Wet Noodle Posse, becoming friends, rallying around each other when encouragement and support is needed.

If you don't have a community of support, find one. It's vital to have friends you can count on to pray when prayer is needed, to have people you can share the joys and trials of life with. Breaking in can be hard, but I've learned that the way to become part of an online community is to post, and post often, until you become familiar to the others. Getting through my father-in-law's death, my mother's stroke, and my daughter's blood clot crises would have been much harder if not for my online support system.

And just for GeeBee, because it touched home at this particular time:

7 Wonders of the World

A group of Geography students studied the Seven Wonders of the World.
At the end of that section, the students were asked to list what they considered to be the Seven Wonders of the World. Though there was some disagreement, the following got the most votes:
1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter's Basilica
7. China's Great Wall.

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student, a quiet girl, hadn't turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list.

The quiet girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."

The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help."

The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the Seven Wonders of the World are:

1. to touch
2. to taste
3. to see
4. to hear

She hesitated a little, and then,

5. to run
6. to laugh
7. and to love.

It is far too easy for us to look at the exploits of man and refer to them as "wonders" while we overlook all that God has done, regarding them as merely "ordinary."

May you be reminded today of those things which are truly wondrous.

~Author Unknown~

I Believe in Miracles

I'm going to try to recreate a post that Blogger ate, because I think it's an important message to hear...but I don't know if I can do justice to the original.

A friend's 3 1/2 year old grandson fell while jumping on his trampoline and hit his head on the frame. What followed was a grandmother's second-worse nightmare. He had a blood clot on his brain and the doctor's said IF he survived he might be paralyzed, on a breathing machine for life, mentally handicapped--all sorts of dire predictions. The members of eHarlequin's Bat Cave started to pray. They even changed the name of the current cave because it seems our lives tend to live up to the cave name, and this one wasn't suitable under the circumstances. People were praying in the U.S, in England, Australia, Sweden--all around the world, around the clock.

We nicknamed Cearha's grandson GeeBee. At first, GeeBee was in a medically-induced coma, his right side paralyzed, on a breathing machine. That was okay--at least he was still alive. Then he coughed against the tube a few times--baby steps, but progress just the same. Then he twitched his right side--the paralyzed one. He squeezed his grandma's hand. He curled into a fetal position. Finally, when he'd had enough of being messed with, he pinched the nurse, on purpose! Go GeeBee became the rallying cry in the Cave.

His brain pressure normalized and he was weaned off the sedation. Yesterday he began to breathe on his own, and last night he woke up! He knew his name, his sister's name, and he asked for his mama. So yes, God does answer prayer and miracles do still happen.

Next step--to see GeeBee walk, then run, then go on to live a totally normal life.

But for the love of God, I hope they burn the trampoline.

Lunch with My Favorite Noodler

Got to have lunch with Stephanie Feagan yesterday. Two hours of good conversation along with good food--what could be better? Listening to her stories about National really brought home how much I'd missed by not going to Atlanta, but it also made me more determined to make it to Dallas. I've already started cleaning my purse out every night, depositing my change and dollar bills into a coffee can. One can is full, and I've started on the second. I might not be able to afford the conference fee, but at least I can join the Noodlers for lunch one day since I live close enough to drive.

So how do you save up the money for conference trips (those of you who have to budget for such things)?

Making Memories

I've spent the last few days with my grandsons, going swimming, playing at the park, fishing, watching as they rode their electric Harley. We had fun, but most importantly, we made memories.

No one was better at making memories than my father-in-law. He did it by repetition--doing and saying things over and over until they were forever a part of us. My grandmother always greeted us on our visits with homemade rolls, buttered and toasted, and mugs of hot chocolate. I hope I can follow their example with my own grandchildren. I've started by having a tradition of a big breakfast in the mornings when they're here. We have eggs, sausage, biscuits, pancakes, orange juice. If I forget something ( like I did this week when I failed to buy orange juice) the kids let me know I goofed.

Do you have "memory makers?" Things you do with your kids every year, or with your grandkids? I'd love to have some ideas of things I can do to make our own memories.

Something Every Unpublished Writer Should Read

Rita Winner and Wet Noodle Posse member Stephanie Feagan posted a letter to a friend on her blog at http://www.stephaniefeagan.com/blog/ and I think it's a classic. Something every aspiring, unpublished writer needs to hear. And it wouldn't hurt the published authors to read it, either. Go take a look. It's the blog titled The Secret To Getting Published .

Back to School Already?

This month on the Wet Noodle Posse website I wrote the Top 10 Tips for back to school. Click on the link above to check it out.

I'd invited my grandsons to spend a week with Gramma this summer, but with their Disney Cruise in June and the big wedding in July, then their mom being in the hospital, time just seemed to slip away. My oldest grandson informed me last week that he only had 21 days left until school started, so I picked them up today and brought them home with me. We stopped by the "sprinkler" park on the way home, where they had a blast, ate dinner at Grandy's, then came home to watch the Phillies/Cardinals game. Tomorrow we're headed for the park before it gets too hot, then we'll come back and play in the sprinkler for a while before heading over to my sister-in-law's house for a swim in their pool. Friday we're off to the waterpark, and Saturday we'll do something else involving water. The boys take after me--swimming is their favorite summer activity.

The news from the RWA National convention continues to roll in, with Noodlers taking top honors in a number of different contests. You can read all about it on the Wet Noodle website (www.wetnoodleposse.com) Also, JoAnn Ross, author and mentor extraordinaire, was awarded the RWA Pro Mentor of the Year award. There isn't a nicer, more helpful and more considerate woman on the planet and we love her dearly. Hop over to her website (www.joannross.com) and check out her fabulous books and writer's tips.

Three Rita's for the Wet Noodle Posse

Tonight was the annual awards ceremony for RWA's prestigious Rita and Golden Heart Awards. Three members of the Wet Noodle Posse (http://www.wetnoodleposse.com) took home the gold. Congratulations, ladies!!!!!


Best First Book
Show Her The Money by Stephanie Feagan (0373513542) Silhouette Books - Natashya Wilson, editor

Best Long Contemporary Romance
Worth Every Risk by Dianna Love Snell (0-373-27426-2) Silhouette Books - Allison Lyons, editor

Best Regency Romance
A Reputable Rake by Diane Gaston(0263843912) Harlequin Mills & Boon Limited - Linda Fildew, editor

Home Again

A week in the hospital was about all my daughter could stand. It's a good thing the doctor let her go home today, because she was all packed and ready to leave whether he said okay or not.

I've spent 18-20 hours a day at the hospital with her this past week, so I'm pretty much beat. I've lost the thread of the story I was working on, which means going back to read from the beginning and hopefully pick the momentum back up. This is the reason it's so important to write every day, to keep yourself immersed in the story. I've already decided that if I get a rejection on the current WIP, I'm going to drop it for now and get back to something that really interests me. To hell with the market, I want to write a story that grabs me by the throat, not the pursestrings.

Taking a few days off

I won't be blogging for a few days because my oldest daughter is in the hospital with DVT (deep vein thrombosis.) Until she's out of danger, my husband and I are staying with her at the hospital. Please keep her in your prayers, and if you know anyone who is using the patch for birth control, please tell them to talk to their doctors about the increased danger of blood clots from that product. It's much higher than with regular pills.

She has two little boys who are afraid for their mommy. I'm sure they'd appreciate your prayers also.

Tori/Pam

Date Me Baby, One More Time

I can't say enough about this book. Stephanie Rowe has created the most unlikely group of characters on the planet, a plot I'd never have thought of in a million years, and put it together in a way that will keep you glued to your chair, laughing your ass off along the way. I can totally picture this as a movie. It would be a smash hit. Go get this book. You'll regret it if you don't.

What's with all the depression?

Everyone I've talked to lately seems to be suffering from depression. For some it's because they can't go to the RWA National convention in Atlanta this year. That's part of mine, I'm sure, along with the incessant heat, the drought that's going to force me to sell my cows (who are like pets to me) if it doesn't rain soon, the prospect of having to go back to a regular 8-5 job with the accompanying 1 1/2-2 hour commute each way, the increasingly obvious fact that we're going to have to sell our home in the country.

But even people I know who don't normally suffer from depression are being hit this summer. Is it something in the air? Is it the fact that no one has time for fun anymore? Is it that we're disconnected from friends because no one has time to sit down and visit anymore? Whatever it is, I don't like it.

I'm blogging about missing out on National on the Wet Noodle Posse Blog tomorrow, so pop on over and check it out. (I'll be giving some pointers on getting the most out of your National experience.)
http:wetnoodleposse.blogspot.com

Clearing out the clutter

Imagine this: your office is clean, no clutter to be found anywhere (okay, just don't open the desk drawers). You've given away a ton of junk (well, it's piled by the driveway, awaiting the arrival of the junk man). Your once impossible-to-walk-through carport is nearly empty, your cluttered porches are clean and hold only patio furniture, the storage shed holds only gardening supplies...

For most of my life, I've lived with other people's junk. I inherited some stuff from my grandparents, some from my parents, some was left by the kids when they left home, some was thrust upon me by my flea-market-loving husband, and some I managed to inflict upon myself.

My garage, closet, and upstairs bedroom are still overflowing, but I'm tackling those next.

Why do we hold onto old stuff we don't need or want? As I look up at my newly-cleaned bookshelves, I still see a dozen books I could get rid of, old RWR's I'll probably never read, 6 telephone books (yes, they're for different cities, but honestly!), 22 bottles of vitamins (If I were to take a dose of each, it would probably kill me), and a stack of old manuscripts that have since been revised. Obviously, I still have a lot of work to do.

But the upside is, I've written more pages since I cleaned my office than I have in months. It's like the clutter around me clutters my mind, as well, and staunches the flow of creativity. Feng Shui will tell you that clutters also blocks opportunities. I don't know about that, but I did get a phone interview the day after I cleared the clutter out of my office, so maybe it's true.

I just cleaned off the shelves above my washer and dryer. Does that mean the laundry will start doing itself? Hmmm. Somehow, I doubt it. But I have found cleaning one thing leads to the desire to clean something else, so now I'm off to tackle the closet. If you don't hear from me within a week, send the rescue dogs!

Check out this new release

A man who thought he had life figured out...just met a woman who proved him wrong!

Kindergarten teacher Grace Adams wants to turn over a new leaf. She's hoping a new school and a new apartment will de-magnetize the loser magnet she seems to possess. According to a student's mother, she's cursed. All it would take is a simple ceremony, some friends and a teeny-tiny bonfire in a coffee can to shake it...

Within a few moments her apartment is engulfed in smoke, her fire alarm is blaring, and she can't stop laughing because she really should have known better. The next thing she knows someone is busting through her door to "save the day".

That someone is firefighter Eddie Mancilla. He has one thing on his mind—fire chief. It's been a family tradition for generations. He’s not about to jeopardize it for his former high-school crush. Eddie doesn't believe in curses or have time to rekindle a relationship with Grace. But as the reunion combusts, Eddie has to douse a lot more than structure fires, now he has to quench the fire he has blazing for Grace.

Once they unite it’s going to be a four-alarm situation. Grace is under his skin and unfortunately her bad luck seems to have spread.... to him!

http://www.samhainpublishing.com/thelastthingiexpected.shtml

4 Cups "…Ms. Scott has written a cute love story about good friends carrying secret torches. Grace can only be described as self conscious, always second guessing her decisions, until she is forced to assert herself. Eddie is a fat kid in a thin suit, at least in his mind he is, achieving a lot in his life while failing to recognize the hole in his heart. Their interactions are both sweet and shy, and bold and aggressive, plainly showing their hidden passion for each other. I got caught up in their story and finished it in one sitting. I enjoyed it and recommend it to any reader who needs a change." ~ Kathy, Coffee Time Romance

Heather Scott moonlights from her writing job to play hostess on eHarlequin, where she's known as Hostie Rae. Go grab your copy now. Print version should be available in August, but I gotta get mine today.

Anthology or book?

The 4 ladies who participated in the latest RR are working on their stories--I'm doing Josie's story, Nancy's doing LaWanda's (she's renaming her Rhonda), Grace is doing Donna's, I think, and I guess Barbara is going to do Midge's? Anyway, wanted to see if anyone had any thoughts on the best way to do this. Right now we're thinking of our RR start as the Prologue or first chapter, then follow that with Josie's story, then Rhonda's, etc. each written by a different author. Kind of an anthology with a prologue.

Or would it be better to do a continuity series? This, of course, means longer stories for each member of the group, but that's still do-able.

So which would you choose?

Say that again, please? In English, this time.

I received this email on one of my loops. Thank God it wasn't one of my writing loops, but a flea market one. But still...Would you hire this person to fix your resume?

The ad:

Have you noticed that your resume needs to be updated and am not sure how to do it? Do you need to write a letter and am not sure of the proper words to use? I can help. The website listed below lists provided services. Please browse and see is you are interested in having me so a project for you.

Then she signs her name, and under that her title: Senior Technical Advisor.

And I'm finding it difficult to find a job?????????

Good Lord.

Update on Paddy

The calf we very nearly lost back in March is doing great. You can read the previous post in the archives, but basically his mama's bag was so engorged, he never figured out how to nurse. We found him unable to stand (at 2 days old), nothing but skin and bones, and the vet didn't hold out much hope. But thanks to colostrum and milk from a local dairy and a bit of patience on his mama's part while I showed him how to latch on, he finally started nursing about at about 5 days old. (The vet stills says it's impossible.) :) Here's a pic taken yesterday.

Another Round Robin anyone?

I'm bored and the long holiday weekend stretches before me, tempting me to go outside and do things like paint the house or clean the cobwebs off the front porch or--heaven forbid--clean my office. (I've already cleaned out one corner, quite enough for today). So how about another round robin? Anybody? Bueller?

The beginning:

"This meeting will now come to order." Josie Davenport banged the gavel on the kitchen table and did her best to look dignified and "official." Watching Midge Sinclair stuff a brownie in her mouth—whole—fixed that. She grinned and shook her head.

"Sarah, will you give the treasury report?"

Sarah Lemmons stood and nervously cleared her throat. "The kitty has twelve dollars and thirty-eight cents. I know we didn't make as much on the bake sale as we'd hoped, but that was because everyone kept sampling the goodies. There wasn't much left to sell."

Guilty looks crossed most of the well-rounded faces at the table.

"Okay. Next time we'll wrap things better so they're harder to get into. Donna, do you have our resolution ready to present to the group for a vote?" Josie gave Donna an encouraging smile. By far the shyest of the group, she tried to make herself invisible by slouching in her chair and staring at the table.

Donna Mitchell lifted her head with a neck-jarring jerk, then slowly pushed herself upright. She pulled a sheet of paper out of a folder and smoothed it carefully on the table. Her voice trembled as she read.

Be it henceforth known that the members of
the XXX club resolve to rid the world of prejudice
toward women who are weight challenged, to bolster
the self-esteem of said women, and to resist society's
determination to heap loads of guilt upon our heads
for not conforming to its ideal of the perfect woman.
We resolve not to diet for any reason other than
our health, or because WE want to. We will not diet
for anyone but ourselves.
We resolve to lobby for wider airplane and
theater seats, attractive clothes in sizes eighteen
and up, and real people of size in movies and television.
We resolve to develop effective put-downs for
people who stare at us in disgust when we eat, who
make hurtful remarks about our size, or who counsel
us to lose weight "for our own good."
We resolve to boycott all gyms, health clubs, fat farms, and diet centers.
Last, but not least, we resolve to kick the ass of anyone who treats us as less than human because we're big.

With her cheeks flushed and a bead of sweat trickling across her brow, Donna slumped back down in her chair to a round of applause.
Josie stood up and banged the gavel on the table for order. "Is there any discussion about the resolution?" No one spoke. "Would someone like to make a motion to accept the resolution as read?"

Midge lifted her hand. "I make a motion to accept the resolution as read."

"The motion has been made. Will someone second the motion?"

Lawanda Jackson spoke for the first time since the meeting was called to order. "I'll second it, godammit. It's about friggin' time someone did."

Josie grinned and gave her a high five. "The motion has been made and seconded. All in favor raise your right hand." Five hands went up.

"The motion has passed unanimously. Ladies, our group is now officially on the warpath. Congratulations. And please, help yourselves to the cookies."

Featured Noodler of the Month!

Tomorrow, July 1st, the 2nd anniversary edition of the Wet Noodle Posse e-zine goes up, and I'm the featured Noodler of the Month. Be sure to stop by http://www.wetnoodleposse.com and read the great features. Here's the announcement for this month's issue:

Boom! (Ooooh!) POW! (Aaaaah!) We know July is the anniversary of U.S. independence, but we hope you're also oohing and ahing as each Wet Noodle Posse article bursts into view, bathing you in the sparkly gold light of cheer and helpfulness, but hopefully not burning you with the falling cinders of typos or choking you with the smoke of broken links. There. That metaphor has been tortured to our satisfaction. Bang! On with the articles.

Speaking of bright things that shoot across the sky and then fizzle, Jenna Ness gives you the Top Ten Reasons to Be Glad You're Not a Celebrity. Can you say divorce? How about middle age = death? Jenna can, only she says it much funnier. If you're looking to beat the heat, we recommend staying indoors for a couple hours with not one but two craft projects! (Oooh!)

First, Colleen Gleason shows writers how to gain inspiration from another kind of art - collage. Who knew looking at colorful images could be more inspiring than staring at a blank computer screen. Of course, you don't have to be a writer to enjoy this inexpensive and thought-provoking art form. We're not going to come to your house and check.

However, Kiki Clark knows that everyone wants their name on the spine of a book, and now you don't have to write one to accomplish that - just buy a papier-mâché book form and decorate it! Actually, the point of this project is to have a cool place to hide things in plain sight, on your bookshelf, but Kiki can't seem to stop stroking hers.

Bonnie Vanak gets her inspiration from helping others. In addition to writing romances, she also crafts promotional materials for a not-for-profit organization that helps some of the world's most disadvantaged people. Photographer in tow, Bonnie travels to disaster sites, which explains why her books are set in places like Jamaica and Haiti. Norah Wilson tells how happily-ever-after endings help this SuperHeroine cope.

It is unquestionably summer, and we know the last thing you want to do is spend a lot of time slaving over a hot stove. But you have to eat, and what could be quicker than pasta? We're talking nine yummy meals, including Chicken Primavera, Pesto Pepper, Alfredo Supreme, and one with tomatoes, olives and fennel. Pow! Save any leftover noodles and gently lash a friend. You'll be glad you did.

July is the Noodlers' anniversary, and many of us will be reuniting at this year's RWA conference, held in Atlanta, Georgia. If you'd like to meet published Noodlers (and hundreds of other published authors) while supporting literacy, come to the Readers for Life signing and book mart, where sales of autographed books support literacy programs across the U.S. It's open to the public and it's a bunch of fun!

Georgia is just a hop, skip and jump away from the most visited national park in the United States - Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Because this cool, green oasis is so rich in flora and fauna, it's been designated an International Biosphere reserve, not to mention one of the last known habitats of the elusive Stuckey's. Trish Milburn takes you on a tour.

Vacation fun continues with the Noodler's Top Ten Vacation Spots. Fishing, Broadway shows, cathedrals, mojitos. Hey, can we get all those in one place?

Pam Payne is July's Noodler of the Month, and she wants to know when someone will come up with a waterproof laptop. Pam's career started with a bang when an editor asked to see her full manuscript when Pam had only written 63 pages. Since then, she's written a lot more.

This month, Dr. Debra answers the difficult question, What can you do when a good friend's death makes you question your faith in God?

Come join the celebration!

When all else fails, start over

Got another rejection on Satin and Steel, which I had retitled Winner Takes All. But they want to see something fresh and new from me, so that's okay, I guess.

How can a book that came so close to being bought at one house, got a contract offer (that I turned down) at another, get rejected at others? I get the same comments. Writing is good, characters and dialogue are great, but they just didn't fall in love with the story. Geez, I'm not asking them to marry it, just buy it.

Okay, that book is done. It's been filed under the bed and I've moved on. Started a new story that I like so far, but my confidence level is pretty much in the toilet. I've decided not to share this story with anyone until it's done. I'm going to try to write it like I did my first one, the Golden Heart finalist. Just write and write and write until it's done, no second guessing, no fiddling with the first chapters over and over. Just write. We'll see how it goes.

Some new pics, just because I want to look at them myself. :)

This is our youngest daughter when she was about a year old. The rest of the family was in the living room watching TV or something when we realized she wasn't with us. I found her sitting on the floor of the kitchen, dipping powdered formula out of the can and pouring it over her head. She had to have climbed the shelves in the pantry to get to it. Did I mention she's always been precocious? Or maybe she was just hungry.

Well, our sucky wireless connection isn't cooperating, so I'll post more pics tomorrow.

The last job?

We took pictures of the concrete job we did this week, because we're really hoping it's the last one. We both managed to hurt ourselves (not major, but flare-ups of old repetitive-motion injuries.) So now I either have to start selling my books , dh needs to learn how to make money with his pictures, we need to learn how to write and sell magazine articles with photos, or I have to find a job. Pics are below.

DH has a photo blog!

Finally pulled the hubby into the 21st century. He now has his own photo blog. http://pcsphoto.blogspot.com/ Check out his very, very cool hummingbird pic.

Can you take a vacation from your life?

Sometimes my life seems like a never-ending drama. It's always one thing or another. Someone sick, someone broke, someone doing something really dumb--like one of the kids running into another one of the kids' garage door with their truck. Ora kid getting off the bus at the wrong stop and sending the entire family into a panic as they try to figure out where the kid is and how to get them back to where they belong. Or we're dealing with a drought and hungry cows, overheated dogs, and parched trees.

So, how do you take a vacation from your life? Just pack up and take off for a week or two and don't tell anyone where you are? Would that really work, or would you just end up worrying about what's happening to everyone while you're out of touch? I'd end up worrying. So I guess I'll grab a good book and head for the claw-foot tub. That's as close to a vacation from life as I'm likely to get.

Father's Day & Hummingbirds

It was a bittersweet day. A good day, because two of the four kids were here. A tough day because my father and father-in-law are both gone. I thought a lot about them today, but for once it was without tears, just missing them and regretting not doing more for them and with them while I had them with me.

We spent the afternoon trying to capture pictures of the many hummingbirds in our back yard. Those are tough little suckers to catch on film. But we did get a couple of good pics. I took this first one, my first time to use the DH's Nikon D70 with it's big old lens.
There is a hummingbird right in the middle of the tree in this next picture. You just have to look close to see him. My oldest daughter took the next picture. The hummingbird is playing hide and seek. The nextt one the dh took. Looks like a silhouette. And I saved the best for last.

It's a Beautiful Morning

Heavy clouds hang low in the sky, the wind is blowing, there's a feel of impending rain in the air...

What's beautiful about that, you ask? We live in an area of Texas that's suffering a severe drought right now. The cows come up to the pen every morning begging for food because there's not much in the pasture besides weeds. My trees and plants are sagging from lack of water. We don't dare use up too much of the pond to water them, and the city water costs an arm, and a leg, and a first born to use. So bring on the rain! I'll even take the tornado risk that goes along with a good drenching thunderstorm.

Sent a partial (actually, a first half) of a book off yesterday, made some contracts changes on another and sent that off, played on a couple of blogs, then settled in and wrote some pages. Maybe not great pages, but at least they're done. I can fix them later. I'm having a hard time settling back into writing. We have a big concrete job starting Monday that's really too big for the dh and I to handle by ourselves, even if we hire day laborers. But we're going to do it, one way or another. So I'll spend today and tomorrow worrying about that, and all next week trying to get it done.

But I'll take my Alphasmart with me this week, I think, and write during the drive to town and back each day. I'll be too tired at night. And we'll be leaving too early each morning to get any early morning pages in. Sometimes it sucks when my real life crowds out my dream life.

At least the drought has slowed down the grass-growing process so I don't have to mow!

More pics, part Two

Pics of the calf I saved and raised on a bottle a couple of years ago, who follows me around like a pet, another view of the pond behind my house, a dragonfly, and our grandson (check out the basketball in the hoop).

More Pics

I'll list what they are up here, then post the pics. Otherwise, they get all screwy on the page. First pic is of our male Great Pyrenees, Willie (named for Willie Nelson), relaxing in the pond. The second is a butterfly on our mimosa tree. The third is of my new bush in the backyard. No, wait. The dh shut off his computer and I can't access his pics anymore. So the bush and anything else has to wait until tomorrow. Shoot.

Sunrise over Southfork

This morning, we woke up to a beautiful sunrise, though it's kind of hard to see here. But there was mist rising from the pond, fog over the pasture, and a gorgeous deep-red sun, but before dh could get the camera, the sun had risen a bit and turned yellow.

Anybody want to play?

I'm bored. I've already mowed the lawn, bought a locking mailbox and helped the dh put it up, bought groceries, cooked 2 meals, cleaned the house, did the laundry--and I'm avoiding the WIP like the proverbial plague. So, anyone want to do a Round Robin? I'll start off with a paragraph or two, or three, you jump in and add as much as you want, then someone else jumps in for the next bit. We'll keep it going as long as there's interest.

For the sake of my kids' sensibilities, we'll keep it PG-13. If a post gets out of hand, I'll delete it and ban the poster, so keep it clean.

So...to start it off...

"Karen, would you hurry up? We're going to be late. You know how angry Mr. Skiles gets when we're late." Jessica Winters checked her reflection in the mirror and adjusted her Little Red Riding Hood costume. She tied the cape around her shoulders and pulled the hood over her head. She was ready for the masquerade party, right on time.She wished she could say the same for her roommate.

She loved Karen Chantal dearly, and she was grateful to her friend for helping her get a job and giving her a place to live, but her constant tardiness was irritating.Jessica didn't want to go tonight. She was tired from being on her feet all day, waiting on grumpy customers who couldn't find the right size blouse or skirt or pants. Well, it was no wonder, when they insisted they were a size twelve when they were actually a size sixteen.

To make matters worse, one of the customers complained to Mr. Skiles when Jessica continued to bring size sixteens to the dressing room. Of course, Mr. Skiles had issued his standard 'the customer is always right' lecture, right in the middle of the store in front of other customers and employees. Now she had to go to his stupid party.

She hated Halloween, she hated costume parties, and she hated Mr. Skiles. It was going to be a totally boring evening. What she really wanted was some excitement in her life. Something different. A challenge.

An adventure.

Some new pics

Tony's been playing with his camera again. I'm his not-quite-willing subject matter.

He's also playing with Photoshop. He took a prom picture of me from 1971 and Photoshopped out my date (it wasn't him. )

But my oldest got him back by getting a picture of him.

He got this pretty cool picture of a mama Emu with her chicks while we were on a garage sale outing.

Life on the Farm

I usually write late at night, often not going to bed until 1:30 or 2 a.m. I don't do this when we have concrete work to do the next day, but I do it pretty often. Last night was one of those nights. I'm working on a romantic suspense/thriller and I was in the groove, so I finally hit the sack around 2. Woke up at 6. Not sure why, but it might have been those dang cows bawling outside my window. They were bawling yesterday, too, but we thought it was because they wanted something to eat. But when they're hungry, they don't usually come up to the fence until around 8 or so.

I figured something must be wrong, especially since I heard echoing bawls coming from way across the pasture. So I drug my tired ass out of bed and went outside. There was my mama cow, staring at the back door and bawling her head off. And no calf to be seen.

Shoot. Paddy was missing. But from the bawls I could hear, he wasn't too far away. Just over in the neighbor's pasture. So by 7 I was dressed, had my shoes on (I never put shoes on until I absolutely have to, was armed with wire cutters, pliers, and extra barbed wire, and the dh and I went out to risk life and limb by cutting the fence and going into the neighbor's pasture at dawn. In earlier times, we could have been shot. Shoot, considering that all our neighbors are heavily armed, we could have been shot this morning. But we got him back, patched the fence, and laughed while his mama gave him what for. I'm pretty sure Paddy is grounded indefinitely.

Have a job, anyone?

I need a job. I mean, I really, really need a job. It's too freaking hot out there now to pour concrete. Just walking outside makes me want to run screaming for the air conditioner. Facing a full day in the sun is almost more than I can bear.

I'm one of those women who got caught in the middle between career and family. I'd decided early on to try to put my kids first. So instead of embarking on a real career, I worked at the daycare so they could be with me. I taught in a small private Christian school. I even went so far as to start my own school, then started two very successful daycares for churches. Once the youngest was in elementary school, I tried my hand at selling cars. I was good at it. Made salesman of the month and salesman of the quarter more than once. Then the economy tanked, my boss went off the deep end, and my husband moved us to the country.

There are no jobs here unless I want to work at Subway for $5.50 an hour. Or the bank for $7 an hour. Not enough. We can make more money than that in concrete working one day a month. But how do I explain the long years of not working (my "writing" years). I was anything but idle during those years. I built websites, I wrote books, I networked, I even helped coordinate a full-day tour for 100 members of the KOD chapter during the Dallas convention.
I read, I got a short story published. And I learned the concrete business and worked hard labor, bid on jobs, bought materials, hired workers, collected payments, did the taxes. Why don't those things count with HR managers?

Anyone have advice on how to translate skills to the current job market? I think I'm worth at least $36000 a year, not $7 an hour.

What a day!

Started the day with the news that my daughter and grandsons' flight to Orlando had been cancelled due to engine problems. They'd arrived at 5 a.m., totally excited about their Disney Cruise that starts tomorrow, boarded the plane, only to be kicked off the plane at 8:30. No flights available all day long. She went from gate to gate to try to get on Stand-by, with no luck. Phone calls to American Airlines were met with so sorry, not a damned thing we can--or will--do. So she spent 9 hours in the airport with two very active, very upset little boys. American wouldn't even put them up at the hotel across the street for the day, wouldn't offer any kind of compensation, nothing. I will NEVER book a flight on that airline again.

Then, to top things off, my youngest son got stranded two hours from home in an unfamiliar town with a truck that won't start. To say he's clueless when it comes to cars would be an understatement. He's still stranded at this moment.

The only two bright spots in my days were the gift of an Amazon gift certificate from my oldest son and getting to go out to eat so I didn't have to cook.

Other than those two things, I'd have to call this the worst birthday ever.

Okay, maybe not the worst. Daughter and grandsons are now safe in their hotel room, with their luggage, and youngest son is safe at his sister's house with his truck running. And I indulged in a very rare beer, a long bath, a bag of Dove's Dark Chocolates, and JoAnn Ross's Impulse--a total treat for me. So all's well that ends well.

It's My Birthday

When I was a kid, birthday's were a BIG DEAL. I carried those feelings of excitement into my married life, where I got a big shock. Not all families made a big deal out of birthdays! My dh didn't understand why I thought a BIG DEAL should be made of the day I was born. Every one has a birthday. They're kind of like...well, you know.

As I've gotten older, the excitement has died down. Now every year reminds me of dreams that haven't come true and makes me wonder if they will ever happen before I die. Every birthday brings me closer to the time when I'll have my last one. Will I even know it's to be the last? Or will I let it pass by with little fanfare and enthusiasm?

I got the best card from a friend, an e-card that she thoughtfully sent while on a trip to Egypt. The worst part is, I'm horrible at remembering dates. I let friends' and relatives' birthdays slip right by me because I rarely know what day it is. But it was the first card I got, and it just absolutely made my day. It arrived just after midnight, so I have a full 24 hours to enjoy that feeling of being special.

I hope everyone has someone who remembers their birthday and makes them feel special.

Oh my!

I've been offered a contract on one of my books, but by an e-publisher. Now I have to decide what's most important to me. My heart's desire was to see this book picked up by a big New York house, but most of them want you to have an agent first. Agents want you to have a book published first--not all, but many. My husband says sign the contract and then finish the book I'm working on now and get it out there. But this book is one I love and I kind of feel like my first born didn't make it into Harvard so we're sending her to Texas Tech.

This e-pub has a decent reputation, though I'm hearing some negatives from disgruntled authors, which I guess is what's giving me the most pause. But if I sign, I'll be an RWA recognized author so I can put published in my query letters.

So...decisions, decisions.

Who knew it would be this tough?

Memorial Day

Today we celebrate Memorial Day. But what is it? A day off to spend time at the beach with family? A day for picnics, barbeques, drinking? Many have forgotten the meaning of Memorial Day. The actual date of Memorial Day is supposed to be May 30th. Congress moved it to the last Monday in May so that it would make it a three day weekend, but in doing so they helped destroy the meaning in the day we are supposed to observe.

Memorial Day is supposed to be a day to remember, in specific ways, those who gave their lives for their country:

by visiting cemeteries and placing flags or flowers on the graves of our fallen heroes.
by visiting memorials.
by flying the U.S. Flag at half-staff until noon.
by flying the 'POW/MIA Flag' as well (Section 1082 of the 1998 Defense Authorization Act).
by participating in a "National Moment of Remembrance": at 3 p.m. to pause and think upon the true meaning of the day, and for Taps to be played.
by renewing a pledge to aid the widows, widowers, and orphans of our falled dead, and to aid the disabled veterans.

Did you know any of that? I certainly didn't. I knew people put flags on the graves of veterans and flew flags in their yards. I knew the local VFW had a ceremony at our Veterans Memorial here in town and put flags out at businesses. But the dh and I noticed several flags at half-staff around town Friday and wondered who it was for. Now we know.

Take a moment today to remember the brave men and women who fought to keep us free, and also take a moment to wonder what they would think about the freedoms we give away daily in exchange for "safety."

"They who give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin

Today's Blog is dedicated toArchie Howard Payne and Charles Arden Maeker, who both served bravely during World War II. We miss you both so very much.







Archie Payne











Charles Maeker

Why do I care?

Someone sent me an email asking me why I cared about what Barbara Bauer did to Absolute Write. I've never queried her, never lost money to her, never knew anything about her except that she was on the 20 worst agents list. Well, for one thing, I liked the Absolute Write site. I've used it in my own agent search, I've posted on the boards, etc. What she did was not fair, and it was immature.

But I think what bugs me the most is that stuff like that hurts legitimate agents by association. I've met a lot of the romance agents, and I like almost all of them. Most of them work hard for their clients, they give of their time to help educate unpublished authors, and most of them are fair, honest, and above board. Yet every time one of these non-working agents does something to hurt authors, talk gets started about agents in general. Everyone dredges up the horror stories--the wait times, the form letters, the less-than-polite conversations. Hey, everyone's human. We all have our bad days. I could tell you horror stories about romance authors too. There are some nasty ones out there. Some are rude, crude, or just full of themselves. When I run across them, I write them off my list of authors to buy. I talk about them among friends, and we all agree we wouldn't buy their book if it was the only thing available in the world to read. But we don't call their ISP and demand their website be yanked.

Hmmm, maybe we should. :)

Watch out for the scammers

You'll find them in all walks of life. Who doesn't know an elderly person who lost everything, thanks to a less-than-honest "financial planner"? Or someone who paid money for "fees" associated to winning a non-existent big prize.

In the writing world, the biggest scammers are fly-by-night publishers and agents. Everyone who manages the herculean task of finishing that first book is high on the dream of fame and fortune. They will get that work published (or so they think until the rejections start rolling in.) But all of a sudden, that dream has turned into a nightmare. They've found an agent who loves their writing--after they sent that agent $300, $500, $1000 for "expenses" associated with sending the work out. Shoot, I'd love anyone's writing if they were willing to pay me to love it.

Wake up, folks. Reputable agents do NOT take money up front. They do NOT charge you to read your work. They do NOT send your work to a book doctor (who just happens to be their husband). And any agent worth their salt should be willing to give you a list of their clients and what they sold for them. If they act like it's a big hairy secret, it's probably because they haven't sold jack squat.

Don't be stupid. Do your homework. There are lots of places to get information on agents and publishers (beware the vanity and subsidy presses out there). http://www.aar-online.org/ offers a list of agents who must adhere to a canon of ethics. http://www.anotherealm.com/prededitors/ lists agents to steer clear of. http://www.writers.net/agents.html is loaded with information.

And just in case you're really too naive (or lazy) to check for yourself, at least read this list and make sure you don't include them in your query list, and make special note of letter d:

From Writer Beware :

None of these agents has a significant track record of sales to commercial (advance-paying) publishers, and most have virtually no documented and verified sales at all (many sales claimed by these agents turn out to be vanity publishers). All charge clients before a sale is made, whether directly, by charging fees such as reading or administrative fees, or indirectly, for "editing services." Writer Beware suggests that writers searching for agents avoid questionable agents, and instead query agents who have actual track records of sales to commercial publishing houses.

THE LIST:
a.. The Abacus Group Literary Agency
b.. Allred and Allred Literary Agents (refers clients to "book doctor" Victor West of Pacific Literary Services)
c.. Capital Literary Agency (formerly American Literary Agents of Washington, Inc.)
d.. Barbara Bauer Literary Agency
e.. Benedict & Associates (also d/b/a B.A. Literary Agency)
f.. Sherwood Broome, Inc.
g.. Desert Rose Literary Agency
h.. Arthur Fleming Associates
i.. Finesse Literary Agency (Karen Carr)
j.. Brock Gannon Literary Agency
k.. Harris Literary Agency
l.. The Literary Agency Group, which includes the following: Children's Literary Agency Christian Literary Agency New York Literary Agency Poets Literary Agency The Screenplay Agency Stylus Literary Agency (formerly ST Literary Agency) Writers Literary & Publishing Services Company (the editing arm of the above-mentioned agencies)

m.. Martin-McLean Literary Associates
n.. Mocknick Productions Literary Agency, Inc.
o.. B.K. Nelson, Inc.
p.. The Robins Agency (Cris Robins)
q.. Michelle Rooney Literary Agency (also d/b/a Creative Literary Agency and Simply Nonfiction)
r.. Southeast Literary Agency
s.. Mark Sullivan Associates
t. West Coast Literary Associates (also d/b/a California Literary Services)

Okay, you've been warned, so don't come crying when you hook up with one of the above and find you've wasted a year of your precious career, not to mention hundreds or even thousands of dollars, and no editor has ever seen your work. As for letter d, check out the writers' blogs. They're up in arms over that one. For a really funny take on it, go to http://p-n-elrod.livejournal.com/12120.html . To get the real scoop, no holds barred, visit Miss Snark's blog. What do you mean you don't know the url? It should be #1 in your blog bookmarks. Sheesh! http://misssnark.blogspot.com/ Also see what Kristin Nelson http://pubrants.blogspot.com/ has to say. From those two you'll find plenty of links to keep you busy, including a link to the new Absolute Write site-- Barbara Bauer had the old one shut down because someone posted something about her.

Folks, scamming is nothing new. But in today's world of the Internet and Google, there's really no excuse for getting taken. It only shows how desperate you are--or that you're lazy beyond belief. Take the time to check things out before you jump in. There's really no need to wear lead boots and a concrete vest in this day and age.

Back Talk

What does it take to make a book "good?" Does it have to be an Oprah pick? A New York Times Best-Seller? A hardback? Does it need to be a social commentary, a mystery thriller, or an epic Science Fiction? Or does it just need to entertain? To take you away from your everyday problems and stress?

As a lover of romance novels for more than thirty years, I've been on the receiving end of more than my share of sneers and jibes. You'd think I was reading pornography from some of the comments I've received. Of course, these comments usually come from someone who wouldn't stoop to the level of actually reading one.

The old view of romance novels as "bodice rippers" no longer applies. Today's romance novels are about feisty women who know what they want and go after it. They are all about love, commitment, and happily ever after. They are about women who stand up for what they believe in, who have interesting careers, and who can stand toe to toe with a man and hold her own.

If you like mystery and suspense, you can find that in a romance novel. If you like sci-fi and paranormal activity, you can find that too, as well as medical dramas, comedies, and family sagas. So why is there such prejudice against romance novels?

I think the feminist movement was part of the reason. At a time when women were struggling to be seen as equals, the romance genre was still a step behind. The novels of the seventies featured a quieter, meeker heroine than you'll find in current novels. She was still submissive and often taken advantage of. Not so today. Any hero who tries to hold a romance heroine under his thumb is very likely to end up with a black eye!

Like it or not, romance novels are big business. In spite of its undeserved reputation, Romance is still the biggest selling genre, comprising 54.9% of paperback fiction sales. In comparison, mystery novels hold about 29.6% of the market, Science-Fiction a mere 6.9%, and general fiction about 12.9%.

Romance authors like Nora Roberts, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, JoAnn Ross, and Jennifer Cruisie consistently dominate the Best-Seller lists. Many people don’t realize that Janet Evonovich is a romance author, as are Suzanne Brockman, Linda Lael Miller, Lisa Jackson, Sandra Brown, Lisa Gardner, Tess Gerritson...the list goes on and on. And not all romance authors are women. James Patterson and Bob Mayer have recently joined the ranks of the Romance Writers of America.

Romance authors are often perceived as bored housewives who lounge at their computers in their satin dressing gowns, munching Godiva chocolates as they pen their stories. Not true. (Well, the Godiva chocolate part might be true.) Today’s romance authors are doctors, dentists, lawyers, college professors, scientists, CPA’s, FBI agents, CEO’s and CFO’s of major corporations, just to name a few. With backgrounds like those, they can’t help but have great stories to tell.

So, I’m issuing a challenge. If you haven’t read a romance novel in the last three years, pick one up. I challenge you to read Lisa Gardner’s latest and not stay up half the night to finish it. I challenge you to try any one of JoAnn Ross or Allison Brennan’s books and not look under the bed before you turn out the lights. I challenge you to be truly well-read by including romance in your daily fiction diet.

Writing through the hard times

I think I finally figured out why writing has been so darned hard lately. I'm trying to work two jobs, deal with kids who are out of college for the summer and either at home (requiring that I cook more regular meals) or are living out of state (adding to my list of things to worry about), and my mother just left after a six week visit. Diagnosis?

I'm stressed and exhausted.

I sit down to write at night after working all day doing hard physical labor out in the hot Texas sun, and all I really want to do is go to bed. But I feel guilty if I don't write, so I end up revising already written pages instead of writing new ones. I long for the days when my husband went off to work and I stayed home and wrote. Now when he goes to work, I'm right there with him. When I'm home, he's home. I never get a break. I love him dearly, but I'd give just about anything for a full day at home alone. A day when I didn't have a to-do list a mile long, didn't have any expectations except how many pages I want to write.

I've Had It!

With clutter, that is. After 33 years of marriage, 4 kids, and inheriting the stuff my mom didn't want to move to Colorado with her, my house, garage, and storage shed are overflowing. It's hard to keep the house clean when every room is packed full of sentimental garbage.

Dh and I are starting today on our decluttering campaign. We're going to be ruthless. If it doesn't serve a purpose, it's outta here. Sentimental crap will be offered to the kids or other relatives. If they don't want it, it's gone. Only papers essential to our survival, careers, or the IRS will be allowed to remain. That cute little ceramic bear I bought on one of our flea markets prowls is history. The clothes in the closet that I keep thinking I might get back into "someday" are going to Goodwill. (Hey, if I lose a bunch of weight, I'm going to want new stuff anyway, right?)

The dogs can sense something's up, and they're nervous. But dang, I'd never get rid of my dogs!

Popped by Pop-ups and some small news

This is a warning to all companies who advertise by putting pop-ups on my computer. Do it, and I won't ever in this lifetime use your services again. Okay, so I'm only one person, but I'm pretty sure these sentiments are reflected by millions of others who hate pop-ups with a passion. I consider any company advertising this way as unethical and borderline criminal. And I'm not talking about the pop ups you get when you visit a website. I'm talking about those ones that come out of the blue when you're surfing. The Windows cleaner, the anti-virus one that first sends you this dire warning that your computer has been infected by some worm. (Yeah, and it's theirs). Like I'm going to just pop over and let you fix it. I'm not that stupid.

Today Expedia decided to join the war on my computer. I've used Expedia in the past to find airline fares, but no more. They just put themselves on my shit list. And yes, I could install a pop up blocker. But then I wouldn't know who to add to my do-not-visit-or-buy-from list.

Same goes for spammers. Spam me, you lose me as a customer. And I know these guys are just shaking in their boots, but hey, I know a lot of people. I'm a writer. I know how to persuade people to think my way when I'm passionate about something. And this is one thing I'm quickly becoming passionate about.

Now for the small news. Got a request for the full of Winner Takes All--something else I'm passionate about. I still love that book. Yes, it could probably use some revision (much as the idea has me shaking in my boots, since it's been revised so much already), but I still love those characters, and I have a sequel idea for it using many of the same characters, but with Suzanne and Stan as heroine/hero. I'm holding off writing it, though, until WTA finds a home. Right now I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but continuing on with the current WIP.

It's a dreary, cloudy day with big thunderstorms threatening this afternoon. We lost some tree branches Friday morning in the big storm that blew through, my daughter's room leaked yet again, but otherwise no real damage. I'd like to keep it that way, Mother Nature, if it's all right with you.

Tori

Great writers must be beautiful???

We've been talking about this on the WNP blog...an agent posted on her blog that in order for authors to get picked up these days, they really need to be attractive so they can be promoted via television and print media. She said that if you don't see the author's pic in the back of the book, it probably means she's a dog (okay, I'm paraphrasing here). This post really bothered me on several levels. One, I started reading some of my favorite authors long before their pics ever appeared on their dust jackets. Would seeing their picture have made any difference in my choice? Not at all. I loved the books, couldn't have cared less what they looked like. But in this looks-conscious society, I can see the agent's point--even if it pisses me off.

This is where I think the e-book revolution can make a huge impact. Most people don't know
what their online friends look like, unless maybe they visit their blogs to look, and most of us don't care. I've learned that sometimes beautiful people have ugly insides, and ugly people often have beautiful insides. And it's what's inside that counts. What's inside is what will show on the page: the morals, the beliefs, the way of looking at life that translates itself onto the page.

But if publishing is only chasing after the all-mighty dollar rather than seeking to find works with heart, soul, and engaging characters, we will probably watch print books fade slowly into the past, and e-books will soar to the forefront.

Tori

Finally, a day off

We've been working 12 hour days lately and I'm beat. My writing is suffering terribly--as in no writing being done at all. I have been trying to edit a few pages a day, but I end up nodding off at the computer and give up in favor of trying to catch at least 6 hour of sleep before the alarm goes off. I keep promising my husband that I'll finish this book, because I have a really strong feeling that this one might sell, but without a break in the work schedule, it just isn't happening. Now I have the next 5 days off--glory hallelujah!--so we'll see how much I can get done. My goal is to finish polishing and editing the 200 pages I have so far and sending those off to Hilary Sares, then hitting the keyboard hard enough to write another 50 pages. We'll see if that happens. But first, there's the mowing and the laundry and the vacuuming and dusting and sweeping and...

I need to win the lottery so I can just stay home and write books!

We did our family Easter party a week early, and we had a blast. Almost the entire extended family gathered at my mother-in-law's house, many bearing dishes for lunch. I love these family dinners and wish we could do them more often, but they're a huge burden on whoever hosts the party, so we keep them to just major holidays. Anyway, it was fun to watch the little ones hunt eggs in BJ's huge front yard. DH took some really good pictures with his new Nikon, and I even let him take mine (I hate having my picture taken.)

My oldest grandson mistook an egg dye tablet for a Sweettart and started chewing it. Much panic ensued (on his part, anyway) when his mouth, tongue, and teeth turned blue. Took his mother 10 minutes with a toothbrush, some Crest, and baking soda to get him back to a semi-normal look.

Hey, don't miss the Wet Noodle Posse e-zine this month. Some really great articles over there.
http://www.wetnoodleposse.com

More Pics

We finally got Daisy out from under the desk for another picture. Blue was not to be outdone, however, and got downright silly in his effort to swing the attention back his way.

A new career?

My husband has pretty much worn out his joints pouring concrete for the last 35 years and is hoping to make a new career out of photography. There's a pretty steep learning curve involved as he tries to figure out his new Nikon D70 digital SLR, but I'm taking advantage of his practice shots to get some new pics for my blog. So here are a few of his first efforts. The first one is Blue, my Blue Heeler. The second is Paddy, the calf we thought we were going to lose. The third is Daisy, hiding from the camera. She's my writing buddy. The last is a view of the back of the house, from behind the barbed wire fence.

Golden Heart and Rita Finalists

Yesterday was a big day in the world of RWA. Calls went out to notify finalists in the Golden Heart and Rita contests--kind of like the Academy award nominations of television. There is nothing quite like getting that phone call. The members of the Wet Noodle Posse (www.wetnoodleposse.com) made a pretty impressive showing, with 8 members getting a total of 11 finals in the Rita and Golden Heart. The WNP is made up of member of the 2003 Golden Heart finalist group who banded together and formed lasting friendships. Many of our members have gone on to sell, others are on the verge. Hopefully these latest finals will push a few more over the top. I couldn't be happier for my Noodler sisters.

I didn't final, but it didn't bother me as much this year. Agents and editors have responded positively to my characters, but other writers take issue with my heroine, at least in the beginning. For some reason, as writers we think our heroine has to be immediately likeable, but I tend to think a story needs to leave room for characters to grow and change. My heroine is initially spoiled and at loose ends, but she ultimately finds her calling and learns that there's a lot more to life than money.

Okay, so it didn't final. That's the last GH attempt for this particular heroine. If she doesn't sell this year, I'll put the book aside until after I sell another, then maybe revisit the ms and see if I can change it in some way to make it better. But I don't think these particular characters will ever leave me alone completely. I still love them all. But now it's time to get back to the work in progress--and it's time to FTDB. (Finish the d**n book)

March Madness

Well, I got a rejection from Kim on the full ms. Yeah, it hurt. I cried. But I got over it. She said some nice things about my writing and characters, but ultimately she didn't fall in love with it. I wish someway, somehow, I could figure out what this book needs to push it over the edge. It's one of those books that just won't let me go. The first two, I was able to move on after the rejections, even though they came so close to selling. But this one just won't let go. Oh well. It's entered in the Golden Heart. If it finals, I'll submit it a few more places, if it doesn't, I might try going the e-pub route.

Had a little bit of excitement around here with the birth of a new calf. He somehow never figured out how to nurse or something, and we almost lost him. But with the help of penicillin for his cold and fresh cow's milk from the local dairy, we got him back on his feet and he's nursing from his mama. I got a bath (licking) from his mama for saving him. You could tell she was saying thank you. Too cool.

Youngest son went to California for Spring Break because he didn't want to just sit at home. So for $200, he got to sit at his brother's apartment. Everyone was too busy or too involved in other things to take him anywhere or do anything with him. That's just sad. I'll have to find a way to make it up to him, I guess.

I've been so busy pouring concrete that I haven't had the time or energy to write much this month, other than to start another story I don't have time to finish. But I'm determined to put my office in order and get back to it ASAP! Just as soon as the DARA conference is over. :)

Goodness, has it really been almost two months since my last post? Well, not really since I post on the 15th of every month over at the Wet Noodle Posse blog (http://wetnoodleposse.blogspot.com/) but I forgot to post here.

Anyway, I got--and quit--a job. Quit before I started, actually. I decided it didn't make sense to drive 45 miles each way, after dark on lonely country roads to work 4 hours a day for $8 an hour. I lost--and regained--an editor. Read a blurb in the RWR that Kim Cardascia had been removed from the list of acquiring editors at St. Martin's and nearly had heart failure. Kim has a full of one book and a partial of another. I love Kim, thought she was the sweetest person I'd ever met when I had my appointment with her at the RWA Dallas conference. She's my dream editor. We even grew up in the same town and went to rival high schools--though admittedly she went many years after I did. Anyway, I was relieved to learn she's still at St. Martin's, just not taking any more mss right now so she can deal with her already heavy work load.

I was totally blown away today. My sister and I haven't gotten along in years and I don't talk to her much. But my mom sent me a copy of my nephew's new CD and I was amazed. That boy has talent. You can listen to cuts from the CD here.. http://www.calebmillermusic.com/HomePage.html

I've been really sad and depressed lately. My oldest son has decided to stay in California for a few more years. We'd just finally gotten him home for a few months when he went back out there for what was supposed to have been a temporary contract. Well, he has a new girlfriend now, and she can't move for several years, so he's staying out there to be with her. Yes, I'm happy for him, but I miss him.

I'll be back soon, but right now some chocolate chip cookies are calling my name...

I'm through!

Christmas shopping, that is. It was a challenge this year, to say the least. Not having much money to spend really makes you think about what you're buying. Normally, I buy way too
much, because I'll see something I think my kids would want, then something else, and something else, and then even more. Half of it never gets used, or gets returned. This year, if they take it back, they'll have nothing left. :)

But I'm glad it's over for another year. Now the cooking, cleaning, and candy making begin. I have to wonder why I do so much. None of us needs 8 different kinds of candy, 3 different kinds of pies, or 10 different breakfast selections for Christmas morning. But traditions are hard for me to break, even when the kids reassure me that they don't really care.

I think I may test them on that next year.

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Tori

I found it!

The Woman's World cover this week is red, and it has "Fit into your skinny jeans by January 1" in white letters on the cover. I found my copies at Walmart in Terrell, TX.

And I got my first bunch of emails from friends who have read it. It feels wonderful!

Pam

It's Out!!!!

My Woman's World story is on the store shelves!! JoAnn Ross reported finding it in Tennessee, and Fredericka Meiners found it in Chicago. If you see it in your town, please post here so we can see Where in the USA is The Christmas Wish.

It's in the issue marked Dec. 20th. Don't know what the cover looks like yet, but I'll post here as soon as I find a copy.

I'm so excited!! (You'd have never guessed, would you?)

Tori/Pam

Happy Thanksgiving

Hopefully, we all give thanks throughout the year for the blessings in our life, but on Thanksgiving Day, we're reminded to stop and take stock, to give thanks to God for what He has done. Maybe it's politically incorrect, but I've never been accused of being politically correct anyway. I believe in God, I talk to Him every day, I believe Jesus died on the cross for my sins, and I treasure my relationship with Him. Today, as I look back over the past year, I have many things to be thankful for even though it's been one of the hardest years of my life.

We lost my father-in-law in May, and we still miss him terribly. This will be our first Thanksgiving without him. But I'm thankful that my children had him in their lives for so many years. I'm thankful that he left them with a lifetime of good memories. He was a man who did and said the same things over and over, which at the time irritated some. But in doing so, he left a legacy of sayings--Paism's, if you will. When the kids were small, I didn't like for them to eat candy. When we went to visit Pa, he'd put the kids in his truck and drive them to Phil's Corner and buy them a Chick-O-Stick and M & M's. To this day, we associate Chick-O-Sticks with Pa.

When we sat down to Thanksgiving dinner, he'd say "A thousand good things to eat, and most of them beans." He always waited until every family member had filled their plate before he sat down to eat. I suspect that's a leftover from the days of the depression when his mother did the same thing, waiting to be sure there was enough before she took any. He'd pull his guitar out after dinner and play and sing, until his fingers were too gnarled with rheumatoid arthritis to play anymore.

It's sad that this Thanksgiving his children won't be gathering around the dinner table together. We're all doing our own thing with our own families and my mother-in-law, who didn't feel up to having the usual family gathering, is going to a granddaughter's house for dinner. But I'm thankful that two of my four children will be home, my grandsons will be here, and that my other two will spend the day together in California. We'll miss them both terribly, but at least they aren't alone.

I hope when I'm gone, my kids will remember me fondly instead of remembering the mistakes I made. Yes, Pa was difficult to get along with for some, but his family always, always, knew he loved them. I hope my kids know the same, that I love them, every single one of them, with an intensity I can't even describe. It doesn't matter if there were years I wanted to lock them away until they gained some common sense. Those years are past, this is now, and I love them, no holds barred. I'm so proud of each of them I could bust. There's nothing they could do to make me stop loving them, even if I was disappointed in them for a moment. Love overcomes disappointments. (Not that one of my kids has ever disappointed me in anything important. They're great kids.)

I have a husband who loves me in spite of my weight, in spite of my tendency to get mad over little things, in spite of my lack of "June Cleaver" skills. Martha Stewart I'm not. I love him with my whole heart, and I'm so glad I still have him with me.

So that's my Thanksgiving blessing. I'll be with people I love and who love me, and we'll hope that Pa and my dad are celebrating Thanksgiving right along with us, even if we can't see them. We'll feel their presence. And I totally expect to hear my husband say, "A thousand good things to eat, and most of them beans," as I set the green bean casserole on the table.

This has been a wild and crazy few weeks. Between tooth troubles and wearing my poor car into the ground driving 150 miles a day, doing an enrollment for a 2600 employee group (and no, I don't get all the money, only a small part of it. Don't I wish though!) and trying to get my entry ready for the Golden Heart contest, I'm dragging.

Yesterday I was at the campus police department doing enrollments, and one of the officers made the comment to someone else that anyone who said they'd never contemplated killing their spouse was lying. I got to thinking about that. I think I can honestly say the only way I've thought about killing my husband was in a literary sense. I have, however, thought about what life would be like if I was alone. I'd write for hours a day, eat whenever and whatever I wanted, go places and do things.

Wrong. I had a chance to find out what it would be like this past weekend. My husband and two oldest kids went to Branson, Missouri, to see Ray Stevens in one of his last performances before he retires at the end of this month. I was looking forward to those four days alone, had big plans for cleaning and organizing things, going shopping, eating things I wouldn't want to eat in front of the dh (read, chocolate. Lots of it!) Did I?

Nope. The days were okay, but the nights were hell. We have a budding serial killer across the street, so being alone after dark made me way more nervous than I'd expected. I didn't sleep well at all. And not sleeping well meant I didn't feel like doing much during the day. My teeth hurt too bad to eat much of anything, either. I accomplished exactly zero, but now I know I definitely don't want my dh to go away again--ever. :)

They had a great time, though, and it was good for them to spend some quality time together. They all have so many responsibilities that they don't get to do that often enough. As for me, I think I like my life just the way it is. That's not to say I still wouldn't mind winning the lottery. :)
The first pic up there is of my dh and our oldest son. The second is of the dh and our oldest daughter. Both pictures were taken at the concert.

Wow, has it really been that long?

Can't believe how long it's been since I posted. I've been busy enrolling teachers in a cafeteria plan. It's been interesting, though exhausting. The highlight of the last two weeks was taking an Aflac duck to an autistic child who says "Aflac" when you ask him what sound a duck makes. He was so excited about the duck. And he was absolutely adorable. I think Aflac should hire him as their poster child.

Anyway, Golden Heart time is almost here, and I'm not sure if I'm going to skip it again this year. As the hubby says, if I were to final, it would cost him over $1000. Well, yeah, because if I finaled again, I'd definitely have to go to the National conference in Atlanta. So, since there's no way we can afford that, I'm probably going to skip it and just try to finish my latest book. There's always next year (which is what I said last year.)

I have a book recommendation for you. Blaze, by JoAnn Ross. It's as hot as its name. Whew! I needed a cold shower by the time I finished it.
JoAnn is a master at the craft of writing, and she's a darned nice lady to boot.

My news for the month: I sold a short story to Woman's World magazine. Watch for "The Christmas Wish" around December 13th. Everyone told me it was a really hard market to break into, so I almost didn't even try. First try, sold the story. Now I'm trying to see how hard it is to sell them a second story. :)

Just two more weeks of 14 hour days and 150 mile round trips to work and then I'll have more time to blog. I know you're all just waiting with bated breath out there. :)

Tori

Writers in the Storm

Romance writers across the country responded to the plight of the hundreds of thousands displaced by Hurricane Katrina. These are women, for the most part, who have full-time jobs, families, deadlines, and responsibilities of their own, yet they set aside their own burdens and took up the burdens of others.

Why? The reasons are as varied as the women themselves. For some, it was because other romance writers, people they knew personally, lost everything to the hurricane. For others it was because they have skills needed by the victims—nursing skills, counseling skills, organization skills. For a few, it was because they’ve been blessed and are quick to share what God has given them.

Kensington Author Sandy Blair opened her beautiful home to a family of total strangers. Her husband grabbed them as they climbed from a bus, straight from New Orleans. He didn’t even wait for them to go through the FEMA processing. He had no idea who these people were, but he knew they needed his help. He took them home, and he and Sandy opened their home, and their hearts. They bought the family clothes and shoes (they were barefoot when they arrived in Texas), fed them, supplied them with toiletries and personal items. Karen Potter offered her calling card so the refugee family could call fellow writer Dr. Debra Holland, who had offered her services as a crisis counselor. (Dr. Holland was also in the process of making arrangements to fly to the Gulf Coast to counsel other refugees.) Other members of the Wet Noodle Posse (http://www.wetnoodleposse.com/) sent Target and Wal-Mart gift cards to the family.

Author Bridget Stuart took her boys shopping to buy supplies to take to relief organizations. The daughters of one Dallas author set up a lemonade stand in their front yard to raise money for disaster relief. The children of another emptied their piggy banks to help out. Three-time Golden Heart winner Delle Jacobs donated custom cover art for auction.

Austin author Amy Elias, a member of the eHarlequin online community and a registered nurse, worked long, hard hours packing relief kits, then treated wounds and gave tetanus shots to refugees who flooded the Palmer Center. She went back the next day to work a thirteen hour shift with patients with Alzheimers and dementia. Many other members of eHarlequin contributed time, money, critiques for auctions, and prayers as they were able. Merry is busy making quilts for refugees. Josh is a Navy weatherman who helped coordinate the flights of relief planes. Harlequin has donated money to the relief effort.

JoAnn Ross was one of many authors and editors participating in auctions on eBay to offer critiques to raise money for hurricane victims. Several of the Dallas Area Romance Authors were on hand at Reunion Arena to offer help, as well as gathering books to help the refugees take their mind off their problems for a little while. Many authors have opened their checkbooks and offered most of their available cash.

Nora Roberts is matching any donations made to Habitat for Humanity if they’re mailed to her husband’s bookstore. And the list just goes on and on.

The stories these authors have to tell about the people they’ve helped would break your heart. We heard about the looters and shooters, about the rapes and murders in the Superdome. But the real people of New Orleans and Gulfport and Pass Christian are the people who have nothing left, yet are grateful to be alive. They are the people who worry more about others than about themselves, telling rescuers to take care of the next fellow because he needs help more than they do—when all they have are the clothes on their backs. They are the mothers who have been separated from their children and have no idea if they are dead or alive. They are the families coming apart at the seams from the stress they've just been through. The children starting new schools far from home, strangers in strange circumstances, who are afraid to make friends because they will probably change schools again in a few days or weeks.

I'm so proud of these women who are going above and beyond to do whatever they can for people they don't know and may never meet.

Nail biting time

I'm haunting the mail box again. Several things are due to show up soon--one of them being the final answer on whether or not a certain popular woman's magazine is buying my short story or not. The editor sent me a letter back in April asking if she could hold on to my story until August or September, because that's when they acquired their holiday stories--and mine was a Christmas story. She said she really liked it, just had to run it by the senior editor during the decision-making time. So my fingernails are gnawed to the bone.

I also have a full manuscript at St. Martin's that's been there since the end of May, and a partial with an agent that's been there since mid-April. I'm chomping at the bit because I have other stories I want to submit, but have to wait a bit on those.

Work is driving me nuts. I signed on with AFLAC, thinking I could do it part-time, around the concrete work and my writing. But after a whirlwind trip to California to take the baby girl to college, we're behind on the concrete and have jobs lined up for the next two weeks, my AFLAC district leader is about ready to brain me because I'm the only one in my group who hasn't sold anything yet (who has time???), and my writing is suffering terribly. I want to turn the clock back and go back to last fall, when I had lots of time to myself to just do what I wanted to do.

Tori
http://tinyurl.com/27kdl

Wow, what a summer!

It's been a wild run and it isn't over yet. Since my father-in-law died in May, I haven't had a single day to myself. Besides working with my husband in the concrete business now, I've also taken on a sales job for AFLAC, selling supplemental insurance products. Great company, great products, but very stressful for a new salesperson. They have weekly quotas that I don't have a prayer of being able to meet--not where I live. Added to that stress is the stress of trying to get two kids ready to go off to college for the first time (youngest), or back to college for their junior year (second youngest) on a limited budget and while working the other two jobs.

And in the midst of that, I got a new idea for a hot, sexy story that I love. Wrote 10 pages last night. The first 25-30 pages of a book are always the easiest to write for me. It's pages 31-389 that are hard (the last 10 pages being pretty easy, also). Anybody else agree with that?

Well, it's after 8 and I should already be headed down the AFLAC highway. Have a great day!